


titleless nonsense

by scharhrot



Category: Cardfight!! Vanguard
Genre: M/M, diffriding for fun and profit, don't ask me about any of the logic in this i do not have answers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2020-01-13 05:58:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18462896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scharhrot/pseuds/scharhrot
Summary: i'm just very self-indulgent on this april morning (see notes for details and explanations)





	titleless nonsense

**Author's Note:**

> this is a canon divergence where satoru was diffrided by scharhrot after his fight against shiranui in turn 32. assumes that nobody knows about this diffriding except the already-diffridden, also.

Scharhrot, even in a smaller, kinder, weaker, _ human _ body, was perhaps unexpectedly every bit as intimidating as his vampiric tyrant legend dictated; or, maybe he would be, if the person he was talking to wasn't Shiranui.

It was still odd, however, for the vampire to have cornered him at all. Scharhrot was known to be intimidating, but not exactly aggressive; he had enough power to instill fear without much action on his part, after all, and it was rare to see him worked up over anything.

So, cut to now: Shiranui caught between Scharhrot and a vending machine on one axis, and between Scharhrot's (or, Satoru Enishi's) arms on the other. Shiranui had gone to get canned coffee when he was accosted by the vampire, who had apparently beelined for the refreshments room after his repechage match against Rummy Labyrinth's Amu Chouno; he had strode into the room with urgency and wasted no time in pinning Shiranui against the machine.

"Congratulations for your win," Shiranui says, his intonation uncertain in the face of his current situation.

Scharhrot glares at him; unlike the tyrant's general air of intimidation, however, the glare's effectiveness was  _ definitely _ affected by his current body's features, giving off all the bite of a scorned puppy rather than a bloodthirsty hound. Shiranui couldn't help but let out a small laugh, which did nothing to ease the vampire before him.

And finally, Scharhrot speaks. "I'm hungry."

Finding it impossible to duck out of Scharhrot's pin, given the slight difference in height between Kazumi and Satoru's bodies, Shiranui stays put. "The food court downstairs has plenty of options," he says, unsure of what else could be said.

Scharhrot clicks his tongue and leans in, uncomfortably close to Shiranui's face. "I don't need human food. I need  _ mana _ ."

"...Oh?"

Truthfully, Shiranui had noticed some parts of Kazumi's life were stranger with Shiranui inhabiting his body. Though a dragon didn't need mana to survive as a vampire did, Kazumi's father had commented on his son's strange new interest in meat dishes, with Shiranui quickly citing some nonsense nutritional reason for it. Shiranui also had to learn from other humans that mind control was  _ not _ , in fact, a typical Earthling capability, as Shiranui had assumed upon being able to perform it in Kazumi's body.

Amaruda and Dumjid had mentioned no real modifications to their hosts, though they also didn't particularly have different diets from humans on Earth, and might not have realized that their own powers were also not native to their hosts' species, either.

"Human food has done nothing for me; it's enough for Satoru, but _ I'm _ left plagued by…" Scharhrot pauses, choosing his words, "This unquenchable  _ thirst. _ You and your team are particularly vexing, having the mana for two stored inside each of you."

"And? Do you know how to extract mana in this world?" Shiranui asked, wondering how long Scharhrot intended to keep him trapped, as it was starting to get uncomfortable. "I thought you were capable of extracting mana by touch."

Scharhrot sighs, and then lowers his arms, as if answering to Shiranui's thoughts. "Unfortunately, the mana extraction I am capable of on Cray requires some magical aptitude; as a human, Satoru has none. I do have an idea of how to do it here, but…"

Shiranui resumes clicking at the vending machine as he had been before Scharhrot showed up, having still not gotten his canned coffee. "But?"

The vampire pauses again. "It's complicated. There are two methods which instinct tells me will work, but both are… difficult. I need you to confirm the easier of the two, however."

"Which is why you pinned me against a vending machine," Shiranui continues, not particularly asking for confirmation nor asking for reason. The canned coffee clutters at the bottom of the machine, and Shiranui retrieves it.

"Correct," says Scharhrot. "The more difficult of the methods that I have gathered is blood consumption; however, this is tricky without fangs, and according to Satoru's memories might be a biohazard."

"So? What's the method you need me to confirm?"

And then, something unexpected happens.

Scharhrot Vampir, ruthless tyrant of Sonnegrab, and the most powerful vampire of the Dark Zone, if not of Cray itself, looks away from Shiranui, and fidgets with his thumbs a little, and Shiranui spots a  _ blush _ on his face.

"H-Have you ever heard," the vampire-in-human-skin says, trying to compose himself, knowing he was just caught faltering, "of kissing?"

"The humanoid practice of connecting lips with another as an act of romantic intimacy," Shiranui provides, only basing his answer off Kazumi's memories. "Yes?"

"That. Yes. I need to do that."

"..."

"And Satoru does not appear to have a romantic partner, and Satoru's memories tell me that asking for such a thing from others who you are not romantically involved with is considered suspicious or even perverted, so…"

"So you want to kiss me," Shiranui finishes.

"Precisely."

Shiranui takes a moment to listen out for any footsteps in the vicinity, and hears nothing; so, he relents. "Go ahead."

Scharhrot blinks. "Really? I thought that'd take more intimidation."

"I don't hear anyone coming. It's not my body or your body that are kissing, in the end. Also, just so you know, the face of your Vanguard is not as intimidating as you might hope."

"Hm," says the vampire. "I'll consider it in the future. Then…"

With all the strength he had previously used to trap Shiranui, Scharhrot now takes him by the shirt and pulls him down, their lips connecting in a way all-too-violent to me considered romantic by any capacity.

Scharhrot quickly pulls away, gasping as he does so. "It works."

He then attacks Shiranui's lips again, in a deeper, more romantic action.

If a passerby were to see them, it might appear that they were lovers, with the way Scharhrot's hand finds itself entangled in Shiranui's hair, and the way Shiranui holds Scharhrot closer to steady the both of them. It was a good thing that nobody was nearby, and that--

Shiranui quickly grabs Scharhrot by the shoulders and pushes away from him, their embrace being abruptly interrupted. "I just remembered something."

"What? What is it?" The vampire asks, annoyed at his feast being halted.

"There's cameras installed in every public room in this building. It's a security feature in most higher-tech buildings on this planet."

"And? We're not doing anything illegal as far as I'm aware," states Scharhrot, impatiently.

"W-Well, I think--the feed from this room is broadcast to ensure that nobody edits their deckbuild between matches, as the rules state, so…"

Scharhrot pales, and finally looks like the vampire he actually is. 

"May I say something crass?"

"Go ahead."

" _ Fuck. _ "


End file.
